Morning Moments

What ever happened to bonding? With the alarming rate of divorce among Christians, I think it is time to think about bonding.

"...This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man." Gen 2:23

"You have just taken the best out of me!" Do you suppose that might have been Adam's response to God? Okay, I was just challenging you to think. But look at our text closely, because Jesus said the same thing about the Christian in Ephesians 5:30.

Quite obviously the first was literal and the second figurative, but the figurative should give us great insight into the literal. The Ephesian passage tells us about the authority, the aspiration, the attachment, and the affection of Christ to the Church and a husband to his wife.

The ONLY authority a man has been given over his wife is that which the One in Final authority has over him, so if you live by the sword, you will die by that sword. A man is told to honor his wife and if we do not, our praying is in vain. I heard a pastor speak so disrespectfully to his wife the other day and what is worse is that it was in my presence and over absolutely nothing. it troubled me.

Even as a pastor, I had a clear understanding with people. I will speak to you with respect and you are to do the same with me. I am not a dog and will not be spoken to as one, nor will I speak to any other human being that way. Even when we rebuke, reprove, and exhort it is to be done with the Word of God (doctrine - teaching) and longsuffering (the fruit of the Spirit). We have become such a disrespectful society and that is a pity, but when the salt has lost its savor, what more can we expect.

Growing up I was a frail kid. In fact, I was often told that if I turned sideways and stuck out my tongue I would look like a zipper. I remained that way until I married. Now I am twice the man I was then:) I was often picked on, called "four eyes" because I wore thick glasses, and called "skinny" because you could have counted my ribs. Those were not the "good old days" for me. Through that I learned to use the brain and the tongue to absolutely shred my critics. It was a way of self defense. When I became a Christian, I soon learned that a man who does not bridle his tongue has a vain religion. Well, maybe I did not learn it soon:( But I finally got the message. Too many of us always have to win the argument, get in the last word, always attempting to show our "authority" or "superiority" rather than showing respect, even for those with whom we adamantly disagree - especially our spouse. Many tend to believe that "turning up the volume" is winning the argument rather than presenting facts respectfully.

I remember him well. I knew his wife and daughters pretty well. He came into my office, slumped down in the chair and said, "Preacher, I won all the battles, but I lost the war." His family had left him.

She called for an appointment and when she came he came. In the course of discussing their problem, she surprisingly said, "It is not that I don't want sex, it is that I don't want sex with him." Oh my, what brought this on, I thought. Long story short, he worked hard as a mechanic and did not do a very good job of cleaning under his finger nails and that repulsed her.

How many of our conflicts could be much more easily resolved if we would just speak respectfully to one another. We do not have to scream to prove a point. By the way, preachers don't either. But so many of us have gotten so use to being screamed at, that we do not hear any other way. I have much more to share about this, but for now I close with this illustration -

We were just children, under the age of 12 years, and would gather at one house or another to play. One of the boys was named Seth, but his mother called him "Junior". When it was time for him to go home, she would go to the front porch and yell, "Junior." He would ignore the call the first time and the second, but when she yelled the third time, he would run home screaming, "coming mama". We don't need to scream things over and over, we just need to say them respectfully and calmly.

PRAYER: Lord, help me to speak as the oracles of God, and let it be seasoned with salt, and minister grace to the hearer. Help me to bridle my tongue and to honor the other person. Help me to not only speak with honor to my spouse, but to always show that honor, not only to her directly, but always to others as I speak to her. Thank you!