Morning Moments

The Balance between Love and Chastisement

6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?
8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.
9 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?

In recent decades we can mark a lack of love and respect by several things:
1. An increase in lack of respect for anyone in authority.
2. An increase in the natural affection of parent and child.
3. An increase in violence in society.
4. An increase in death of parents by children and vice versa.
5. An increase in broken homes.
6. An increase in trouble in schools.

There are many more, but the lack of proper discipline with a balance of love and punishment is no doubt one of the greatest, if not the greatest cause.

Discipline must begin at home, but does not stop there. In fact, discipline begins in the womb. Words of love and tenderness as well as requests should be spoken to the child in the womb. For example, I know personally of breach babies turning around in the womb, which is to me another proof that the embryo is indeed a person.

We must understand that discipline doesn’t just mean punishment. It is to produce something good, not resentment and rebellion. That is why it must be tempered with love and respect.

Children, contrary to the opinions of some parents, are not little monsters. They must be TAUGHT what is right and what is wrong. They must learn that every action brings a consequence, and that must be affirmed and reaffirmed. Praise for character qualities and correction for unacceptable actions.

Again, we must not make mountains out of molehills. For example, they will sometimes use words that are not or should not be socially acceptable. The Bible says, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth.” So, we should certainly refrain from such ourselves, but we should explain why God and decent people do not use bad words.

A word picture is extremely important to convey truth. If I say to a child, “Do you remember or understand how it would hurt you if someone called you “dummy” (or anything that the child would understand)? Then that is how God feels when we use those words.

When teaching high school, guys would call other guys “fags”, and I would ask, “Are you homosexual?” Of course they would reply, “Of course not, Dr. Phil.” I would then ask, “How would it make you feel if so and so said you are? Would it hurt you, make you angry, and make you not wish to associate with that person?” “Aw, Dr. Phil, we don’t really mean it,” they would often reply. “Oh,” I would say, “so you do not tell the truth, so how can I believe you when you say so and so?” The point of the word picture is to get the other person “feeling” what they might have made someone else “feel”. We need to think about how God feels about our conduct as adults and we must convey to our children the same.

I once had to give a serious paddling to one of our children. I turned to the book of Joel and read about the moon turning blood red. I AM NOT recommending you do that (a bit extreme), but you get the idea.

Let me make it clear that I am NOT, nor do I propose to be a child psychologist. I don’t have much regard for most of them anyway, unless they do it God’s way. But I am sharing from a life of experience and more importantly the Word of God. BALANCE is the key!

Someone has suggested that too little discipline with too much “love” breeds immorality (undisciplined feelings of “love”). Too little love and too much discipline breeds harden hearts and leads to harsh, hateful, and hurtful behavior.

Stick with the Word of God and get a dose of good common sense.

BLESSINGS